candothat | IC Contact (Drift Fleet)

[He misses that too. Of course he wishes he could go back to a place where Kitty might have fallen in love with him eventually--might have wanted to stay with him, even--but that's gone beyond retrieval and it'd be nice to get back to where they were when things were easy. Before he was stupid enough to complicate everything by wanting more.]

I wouldn't need to be. [This can be a sincere moment. He's feeling pretty sincere right now.] You're here now.

[He didn't do anything wrong. It's just awkward wanting different things.] No plans of going anywhere. Well, outside of the usual. [Trying to get to Winn. But she doubts that's suddenly going to work.]

Yes, I imagine you will want to leave this room eventually. You have spent a very long time in here.

[Pavel would never ever even consider thinking about how Kitty wouldn't be here at all if getting to Winn was an option. Such things never so much as cross his mind and he wants exactly what Kitty wants and he's entirely okay!]

It helps a bit that I don't actually remember any of that time. It's really hard to wrap my head around just being out for two months. I guess that's my line in the sand. Space reality show was fine. Underwater prison, sure. Coma? Madness!

Spending as much time in these places as we have normalizes all of the bizarre things, I think, and then the only unbelievable things left are the relatively unremarkable ones.

Not to say that two months in a coma is unremarkable. I was impressed by your dedication to being unconscious. [You can tell he was worried because of all of the aggressive joking.]

[That gets a smile as she leans in and gives him a squeeze to go with it.] Thank you. I was hoping to go for a medal or trophy of some kind, but I guess I didn't make it.

I can find a trophy for you on the next planet. It will be engraved with the words Fleet's most impressive sleeper, and you'll be allowed to keep it until someone outdoes you.

I'm definitely holing you to that. [She definitely won't once they see what that planet is like.]

So, was everything doom and gloom or did I manage to miss anything fun?

The same way that you have held me to my promise that I would bring you as much chocolate as I can carry? [Which he still intends to make good on as soon as he can find adequate amounts of chocolate that he can afford.]

Hm. Natasha explained to me what a hot toddie is. [Said with some forced lightness. It was a fairly sober couple of months even before the planet thing with Kitty and then Kirk out of commission.] I bought a number of books. The science in Navigating By Pulsar-Light is elementary, but the prose is very beautiful.

Probably, but if you keep pointing out that I'm a push over I'm going to push back. [She raises an eyebrow at him, not quite threateningly.]

I see the Russians found each other. Have you met up with Victor yet?

Push over is not a word that I would ever choose to describe you. [Said fondly.] Particularly not in situations that involve promised chocolate.

Victor? [Wictor, rather.] No, I wasn't aware that there was another Russian in the fleet.

Are the words you would use nicer or meaner? [Yeah, she already knows.]

I could be wrong, but the name sounded Russian. I haven't met him either, but he's my crewmate, Yuri's, boyfriend.

Far nicer, of course.

I'm always happy to meet potential Russians... and anyone else, I'm not so selective.

Oh, I know you're not. How else did I get to be your friend?

[He snorts and gives her an affectionate elbow-nudge.] I won't sit here and tolerate you insulting both of us.

Would you rather stand? Lay down? [Teasing.]

No, not really. I suppose I can tolerate that insult.

I missed you, Kitty... which I know you can't reciprocate since your yesterday was two months ago, but. [Why is he even saying things, they were back to banter and that was nice. Maybe it was her teasing self-deprecation.] You're a good friend. Well worth missing.

[She brings him into another hug. It feels good to hear those things.] It does feel like it was just yesterday, but I do feel a little different too which should probably be concerning, but it's a good different.

[It feels good to have true things to say that won't hurt her.

Of course he hugs her back.] As long as the kind of different is good. It must be a well-rested kind of different, at least.

Yeah. I feel...more alive again. More inside myself instead of watching myself. Present. [Less directly and immediately heartbroken without Winn even if she still very much wants to be with him and misses him.]

Good. I'm glad for that. [Those things sound like symptoms of recovering from a broken heart... or at least of picking up the pieces and accepting what is.] And puzzled, and maybe slightly worried, but mostly glad.

Maybe my mind had some time to sort things out even if I don't remember it. [Or her heart.]

Or the Atroma decided I was a bummer and fixed me which is much more alarming. [She doesn't sound alarmed.]

Yes, the Atroma decided that you needed to be more entertaining. Clearly. [Nothing makes people more entertaining than an extended coma!]

You didn't need to be fixed, you realize. That implies that you were broken before and you haven't been broken in the entire time that I have known you.

[That touches her deeply—that he said it and that she believes he even means it.] Well, how am I going to feel broken when I have friends like you who say things like that?

[She's right to believe that he means it because he does. The real question: can she believe it?]

Only with a considerable amount of effort and self-deception. It would be simpler to agree me.

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